So a lot has happened since I last touched base. In July I made a big decision and quit my job. I almost feel bad admitting to it as so many people are out of work. Unfortunately life in a call center was not working for me. My husband had taken a new position with a much better salary and bonuses which made it possible for me to resign.
For the last three years I have worked in customer retention and recently the company I was working for decided to combine my department with another. Why does that matter you ask? Well if any of you have worked in customer retention you know that you are supposed to be kind, forgiving, and generous. Customers are calling to cancel their service and the advisors' job is to talk them into staying. This is usually done by giving in the form of discounts and sometimes even complimentary service (and often includes waiving a past due balance). When someone calls in due to financial hardship and needs a break it is nice to be able to offer them one. Now the other department is basically the opposite as they look after collections. The department is hard nosed and will cut off service regardless of the reason for non payment. I understand that this is necessary to do but it is not in my nature and not something I wanted to deal with. I wasn't sure how to change hats from one call to the next and started to feel really stressed. I didn't think it was possible to be more stressed than I already was.
To learn our new position we had one week of training which was also stressful as a newly hired person would get six weeks to train for the same job. At the same time they were also changing the way in which we were to handle our retention calls (the call flow as it is called). I'm actually feeling stressed out just writing about it which is scary. Just an example of the stress level: one of my co-workers didn't come in one day and when she came in the next day I asked where she was. She told me that she came to work, sat in her car for ten minutes and felt too stessed to come in. She started her car and went back home without even entering the building. So back to my story. I finished my week of training and passed any tests that I needed to take and went home for the weekend. The next week I would start taking the new call type to get used to it before mixing my calls. I had one week to vacation which I was really looking forward to. By Saturday afternoon I could feel my stress building in anticipation of Monday morning.
On Sunday my husband and I had a discussion and decided that we could afford for me to take the rest of the summer off and find another job for September. I made a phone call and asked to return to my previous workplace and was accepted back. Yay!! On Monday morning instead of going to work at 7am (I am not a morning person) I got up and called in to resign. I couldn't even bring myself to offer two weeks notice. In a call center you are not made to feel important enough for the extra two weeks to make a difference. You are a spare cog on the shelf. Upon calling I almost immediately felt relaxed. I could feel the stress draining from my body as I spoke. Since that day in July I have not given it a second thought.
I once heard a saying "Doing what you like is freedom, liking what you do is happiness". It is so true!! I hope many of you are liking what you do and if not I hope you will one day get the opportunity to do so.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
The Loss of a Pet
So a friend of mine lost a beloved pet today. To those of you who are pet owners you understand how upsetting this is. Pebbles was a 16 year old cat who belonged to an old friend. When a pet is with you for that long you come to see it as a companion and a friend. You expect that when you arrive home someone will be happy to see you (even if it's only because they want food). When you are down a pet senses this and always knows what to do even though they cannot actually talk to you. Sometimes just a cuddle is enough.
We have three pets in our home. Our dog is twelve and as his life expectancy is around fourteen I find myself stressing lately about what we will do the day that we find he has left us. Technically he's the most senior member of our household. I've never really been a dog person and sometimes feel bad as he constantly wants to be with me. If I go from one room to another he follows and lies on the floor nearby. The kids find this rather funny and somewhat odd as I (sorry to admit this) pay the least attention to him of all of us. Maybe he thinks I'm his Mother. We also have a cat who is seven years old. She lives for my youngest daughter. If Emily cries she comes running from wherever she is at and cries and bites Emily until she picks her up. She then proceeds to rub her head under Emily's chin until she stops crying. She sleeps with Emily, watches tv and sits at the computer with her and follows her around the house. Emily absolutely adores her. She has never been outside which some say is mean but I think the exact opposite. It is mean to allow a cat to roam the streets risking injury by other animals or death on the road. It will be completely devastating one day to lose her. Our third pet happens to be a hamster. He's a teddy bear hamster and very cute and well tempered. He has never bitten anyone and allows the kids to poke him and pick him up at random. He is actually the fourth hamster the kids have had as they don't last long. The last hamster we had lived a little more than three years and actually died in my oldest daughter's arms. He was the friendliest little creature and when she found him dying one morning she asked if it was okay to hold him. She wrapped him in a little blanket and held him rubbing his head as he slowly passed on. It was sad as he was fine the day before. I guess his time had come. Hopefully he found comfort in having someone with him as he left this life. Sometimes I wonder why we continue to have one pet after another as we are so saddened when they pass on but how can we resist the companionship and unconditional love that they give to us? Most of you reading this will understand what I mean.
Anyway to all of the pet owners out there enjoy their company and friendship as their lives are usually not long enough for us. To my friend Greg and his family my condolences for your loss and to Pebbles rest in peace your family will miss you dearly.
We have three pets in our home. Our dog is twelve and as his life expectancy is around fourteen I find myself stressing lately about what we will do the day that we find he has left us. Technically he's the most senior member of our household. I've never really been a dog person and sometimes feel bad as he constantly wants to be with me. If I go from one room to another he follows and lies on the floor nearby. The kids find this rather funny and somewhat odd as I (sorry to admit this) pay the least attention to him of all of us. Maybe he thinks I'm his Mother. We also have a cat who is seven years old. She lives for my youngest daughter. If Emily cries she comes running from wherever she is at and cries and bites Emily until she picks her up. She then proceeds to rub her head under Emily's chin until she stops crying. She sleeps with Emily, watches tv and sits at the computer with her and follows her around the house. Emily absolutely adores her. She has never been outside which some say is mean but I think the exact opposite. It is mean to allow a cat to roam the streets risking injury by other animals or death on the road. It will be completely devastating one day to lose her. Our third pet happens to be a hamster. He's a teddy bear hamster and very cute and well tempered. He has never bitten anyone and allows the kids to poke him and pick him up at random. He is actually the fourth hamster the kids have had as they don't last long. The last hamster we had lived a little more than three years and actually died in my oldest daughter's arms. He was the friendliest little creature and when she found him dying one morning she asked if it was okay to hold him. She wrapped him in a little blanket and held him rubbing his head as he slowly passed on. It was sad as he was fine the day before. I guess his time had come. Hopefully he found comfort in having someone with him as he left this life. Sometimes I wonder why we continue to have one pet after another as we are so saddened when they pass on but how can we resist the companionship and unconditional love that they give to us? Most of you reading this will understand what I mean.
Anyway to all of the pet owners out there enjoy their company and friendship as their lives are usually not long enough for us. To my friend Greg and his family my condolences for your loss and to Pebbles rest in peace your family will miss you dearly.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Mid Life
Writer's block! I celebrated (okay so no actual celebration) my 46th birthday Monday. You would think with that many years under my belt I would have alot to write about.
I've been thinking alot about life lately. I really need to get in shape before it's too late. My knees are not good so I don't get the exercise I should and working in a call centre I am stationary for long periods of time. As a kid I was always very skinny but from the time I was about 22 or 23 I started to struggle with my weight. I'm afraid to step on a scale right now because I know I am the heaviest I have been. Over the years I have tried different diets but unless you stick to them you gain back what you lost and then some. I know many people experience this. With my knees not being good it's kind of a catch 22 situation. I need to lose weight so that my knees don't have to hold up so much but I need to get more exercise to lose that weight.
I often look at my kids and think of how awful it would be not to see them grow to adulthood and have families of their own. The worst part is that it is in my hands and I feel that I should be able to gain control of my body. I don't feel that I eat very much but that I eat the wrong things. I've been trying to eat more fruit and vegetables lately. I know I need to drink more water too. I have seen people on tv who have persevered and lost so much weight and they've done it the right way (eating right and exercising). I think the big difference with some stories is that someone else is preparing foods for them and looking after keeping them on their exercise programs. They also are not at work or looking after a household and 3 kids.
Maybe I need a weight loss buddy to share my struggle with. Someone who is at the same plateau that I am at would be nice (not the girls at work who are on a panic diet because they need to lose 8 or 10 pounds). Is there anyone out there who would like to share their struggle or success story? I've been thinking maybe Weight Watcher's online program although you are really only accountable to yourself when you go that route. I think that is what I will do and to help with my accountability I will post to my blog about my progress.
So for everyone who is reading this I need some encouragement. Check in with me each week to see how I am doing and get on my case if I say I am falling down! Talk to you all soon and thanks for listening.
I've been thinking alot about life lately. I really need to get in shape before it's too late. My knees are not good so I don't get the exercise I should and working in a call centre I am stationary for long periods of time. As a kid I was always very skinny but from the time I was about 22 or 23 I started to struggle with my weight. I'm afraid to step on a scale right now because I know I am the heaviest I have been. Over the years I have tried different diets but unless you stick to them you gain back what you lost and then some. I know many people experience this. With my knees not being good it's kind of a catch 22 situation. I need to lose weight so that my knees don't have to hold up so much but I need to get more exercise to lose that weight.
I often look at my kids and think of how awful it would be not to see them grow to adulthood and have families of their own. The worst part is that it is in my hands and I feel that I should be able to gain control of my body. I don't feel that I eat very much but that I eat the wrong things. I've been trying to eat more fruit and vegetables lately. I know I need to drink more water too. I have seen people on tv who have persevered and lost so much weight and they've done it the right way (eating right and exercising). I think the big difference with some stories is that someone else is preparing foods for them and looking after keeping them on their exercise programs. They also are not at work or looking after a household and 3 kids.
Maybe I need a weight loss buddy to share my struggle with. Someone who is at the same plateau that I am at would be nice (not the girls at work who are on a panic diet because they need to lose 8 or 10 pounds). Is there anyone out there who would like to share their struggle or success story? I've been thinking maybe Weight Watcher's online program although you are really only accountable to yourself when you go that route. I think that is what I will do and to help with my accountability I will post to my blog about my progress.
So for everyone who is reading this I need some encouragement. Check in with me each week to see how I am doing and get on my case if I say I am falling down! Talk to you all soon and thanks for listening.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Milestone Year
April 5th marks my son's 21st birthday. I'm not sure where the years have gone. It seems like just yesterday that the stork dropped him off on our doorstep! I've watched him grow from a baby to a toddler, learning to sit, to crawl to walk, and talk (at two he could recite his alphabet backwards which was quite a feat). I held his little hand as I walked him to the bus to see him off on his first day of school (the whole time trying not to let him see me cry as the bus pulled up at the curb). A few weeks later it was hard not to cry when he asked me not to hold his hand because he was too big for that. I watched him mature into a teenager, a great student, a mentor to others and a very good quarterback (starting qb for five years on the senior team at high school). He was always (and still is) very responsible and wise beyond his years. I saw him through a few girlfriends (he realizes now that every relationship as a teen will not be a lifelong commitment) and I saw him go through the heartache of losing a best friend in a tragic hockey accident. The latter is something that no young person should ever have to go through (nor should any parent have to go through losing a child). It has been a difficult few years dealing with the grief and disbelief of such a loss. I am glad that he had the opportunity of this friendship as he still strives to live up to the high standards that his friend expected of him. His friend was a few years older and would have turned 21 the year that he died. Something has changed in our relationship since then. My son is a little more guarded in what he confides in me and how much of his feelings he shares. Maybe it's just part of growing up but I really miss the long talks that we used to have and him coming to me for advice. We were so close and he used to tell me everything. Now he is about to become an adult. My son will be a man (from a guy's standpoint he's been a man for a while but legally he's about to become one).
This coming fall he plans to transfer Universities which means he will move away from home (I'm going to miss him dearly). He's been working really hard this year to get his life back on track (he spent a year in a complete tailspin reeling from his friend's death and the next year trying to catch back up). His marks are back up to his over achieving standards and he will be back to playing football. Boy I have missed seeing him play football!! I can't wait to go to the first game and see him take that first snap again. You see for 10 years we lived, slept and ate football at our house so the hiatus that he took to deal with the blow life had thrown him was very difficult. It was like he had taken a big part of our life away too. The upcoming year should be exciting!
So begins a new chapter in our lives. It's actually going to be a milestone year for all three of my children. My eldest daughter will turn 18 in the summer and my youngest daughter will turn 13. The years are just flying by. I wish I could slow down time but we all know that is not an option. Cherish every moment you have with your children because before you know it they will be grown up, married and having children of their own. Wait, I don't want to think that far ahead! I think I will try to take it one day at a time. I'm nowhere near ready for Grandparenting!!!!
This coming fall he plans to transfer Universities which means he will move away from home (I'm going to miss him dearly). He's been working really hard this year to get his life back on track (he spent a year in a complete tailspin reeling from his friend's death and the next year trying to catch back up). His marks are back up to his over achieving standards and he will be back to playing football. Boy I have missed seeing him play football!! I can't wait to go to the first game and see him take that first snap again. You see for 10 years we lived, slept and ate football at our house so the hiatus that he took to deal with the blow life had thrown him was very difficult. It was like he had taken a big part of our life away too. The upcoming year should be exciting!
So begins a new chapter in our lives. It's actually going to be a milestone year for all three of my children. My eldest daughter will turn 18 in the summer and my youngest daughter will turn 13. The years are just flying by. I wish I could slow down time but we all know that is not an option. Cherish every moment you have with your children because before you know it they will be grown up, married and having children of their own. Wait, I don't want to think that far ahead! I think I will try to take it one day at a time. I'm nowhere near ready for Grandparenting!!!!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Back to Work
So the March break is over. The kids will be back to school on Monday morning likely with some coaxing and maybe a bit of force. This also ends my week of staycation. I had high hopes of getting many household chores done but with the weather being so nice I found myself enjoying the fresh air and just being away from work. I think I might also need some coaxing Monday morning! You see, there are days when I pull into the parking lot and want to turn around and go home (I actually did one day). At work we joke about this as I am not the only one who feels this way but it's not really a joke at all. I wish I didn't have to feel this way.
I only work three days a week (Monday to Wednesday), ten and a half hours each day but for me this is more than enough. My four days off each week are as follows: Thursday wind down and destress, Friday try to get some chores done and Scentsy, Saturday is for visiting and Scentsy, and Sunday is my day to stress over having to go to work on Monday. For those of you who have worked in a call centre you will understand why I say this. For those of you who have not...don't. Okay so some people may like call centre life but personally I find it very restricting and somewhat demeaning. Every second of your day is monitored. I understand that the company needs to be accountable to it's client for it's employees but if I need to use the restroom and it takes me five minutes I don't appreciate someone coming to check on me. I am not a child! I also understand that calls need to have some sort of a time limit but each customer is different and some require a little more time and a personal touch. I consider showing compassion and that you care to be good customer service. Being in customer retention I am under the opinion that even if a customer still cancels an account they are more likely to come back if they have had a good experience with a company representative. This brings me to people who don't care. Please understand that this is my job. If you have a problem with the company please keep in mind that I am just an employee and have done nothing to you personally. You do not have the right to call me names. I know that hiding on the other end of the phone it is easy to do so but I am a person with feelings. The fact that my company says I can not defend myself against you does not mean that you have carte blanche to humiliate me verbally. I have had customers who are so mean that they have made me cry.
Of course all calls these days are monitored for quality purposes. Calls are listened to and agents are coached on what they may need to do differently. It always seems that no matter how well you think a call went there is always something that you have not done well enough. It's always "this was great but". As I said I know that I am not the only person at my company who feels this way. The turnover rate is very high due to this unhappiness. Another problem is the fact that with it being so busy we are stationary for long periods of time which is unhealthy. We have been noticing posters around the building with great ideas to get in shape including going for a walk at lunch. I'm sorry but if I'm there for ten and a half hours my half hour lunch needs to be for a meal. We are often given treats which include things like chips and chocolate. I won't say I don't like those but I definitely don't need them. I would prefer something healthy like fruit (grapes are quiet to eat).
I could go on but I won't. Maybe my rant tonight will help me to avoid spending my entire Sunday stressing about Monday morning. Okay so it probably won't but it's making me feel better right now! For those of you listening I hope you have a job that you like! If not keep your chin up and know that you are not alone and be glad in these troubled times that at least you do have a job. If you have cause to call a company with a complaint, remember that the person who answers the phone could be somebody's mother, sister, daughter, father, brother, son, or friend and that they are doing their job. Treat them as you would hope to be treated yourself. Remember a little kindness goes a long way and you may just help to make someone's day a little more bearable. For now, goodnight and have a great tomorrow!
I only work three days a week (Monday to Wednesday), ten and a half hours each day but for me this is more than enough. My four days off each week are as follows: Thursday wind down and destress, Friday try to get some chores done and Scentsy, Saturday is for visiting and Scentsy, and Sunday is my day to stress over having to go to work on Monday. For those of you who have worked in a call centre you will understand why I say this. For those of you who have not...don't. Okay so some people may like call centre life but personally I find it very restricting and somewhat demeaning. Every second of your day is monitored. I understand that the company needs to be accountable to it's client for it's employees but if I need to use the restroom and it takes me five minutes I don't appreciate someone coming to check on me. I am not a child! I also understand that calls need to have some sort of a time limit but each customer is different and some require a little more time and a personal touch. I consider showing compassion and that you care to be good customer service. Being in customer retention I am under the opinion that even if a customer still cancels an account they are more likely to come back if they have had a good experience with a company representative. This brings me to people who don't care. Please understand that this is my job. If you have a problem with the company please keep in mind that I am just an employee and have done nothing to you personally. You do not have the right to call me names. I know that hiding on the other end of the phone it is easy to do so but I am a person with feelings. The fact that my company says I can not defend myself against you does not mean that you have carte blanche to humiliate me verbally. I have had customers who are so mean that they have made me cry.
Of course all calls these days are monitored for quality purposes. Calls are listened to and agents are coached on what they may need to do differently. It always seems that no matter how well you think a call went there is always something that you have not done well enough. It's always "this was great but". As I said I know that I am not the only person at my company who feels this way. The turnover rate is very high due to this unhappiness. Another problem is the fact that with it being so busy we are stationary for long periods of time which is unhealthy. We have been noticing posters around the building with great ideas to get in shape including going for a walk at lunch. I'm sorry but if I'm there for ten and a half hours my half hour lunch needs to be for a meal. We are often given treats which include things like chips and chocolate. I won't say I don't like those but I definitely don't need them. I would prefer something healthy like fruit (grapes are quiet to eat).
I could go on but I won't. Maybe my rant tonight will help me to avoid spending my entire Sunday stressing about Monday morning. Okay so it probably won't but it's making me feel better right now! For those of you listening I hope you have a job that you like! If not keep your chin up and know that you are not alone and be glad in these troubled times that at least you do have a job. If you have cause to call a company with a complaint, remember that the person who answers the phone could be somebody's mother, sister, daughter, father, brother, son, or friend and that they are doing their job. Treat them as you would hope to be treated yourself. Remember a little kindness goes a long way and you may just help to make someone's day a little more bearable. For now, goodnight and have a great tomorrow!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Spring
Well it looks like spring might actually be here! It's time to clean up winter's debris and make way for green grass and summer flowers. I'm not sure if I like this transition period each year. Sure it's nice that I can feel the warm weather coming but at the same time it just looks so dirty. If you live in an area where winter brings alot of snow you know what I mean. In Port Perry alot of sand is used on the roads over the winter. This is to minimize and avoid unwanted salt in Lake Scugog. Usually the first sign of spring namely temperature change is a bit of teaser. This week is supposed to be very warm and mostly sunny (a great March Break) but I know that between now and April 9 (my birthday) we will get snow again. It usually snows on my birthday (I'm coming up to my 46th); it may not stay but it flies! I can count on one hand the number of years that it has not
The boulevard at the end of my front lawn is approximately an inch deep with sand. For those of you who prefer centimetres that would be 2.5 of them. Personally I prefer inches even though I live in Canada and we use the metric system. It's funny how during the winter we get storm warnings with 5cm of snow. It doesn't sound like so much when it's 2 inches. I always think that's funny "Oh no! 2-5 centimetres of snow! Get out the tire chains!". Or learn to drive on 1-2 inches of snow!! That's another pet peeve of mine. People who panic and do dumb things in the snow. If you've ever been to Port Perry you know how scary the Ridges can be in a snowstorm. It's actually not so much the Ridges as it is the people driving them! Don't break going down the slippery hill. Creep over the top and let your vehicle coast down and you will be a okay!
On the subject of the Ridges, they are the highest point in Durham region and can give you some interesting weather this time of the year. A couple of weeks ago I drove home in a snowstorm. When I got to the ridges because of the temperature change there was also fog. This is not a good combination for driving! Sadly in the spring and summer driving can be dangerous here too but mainly due to people passing when they shouldn't and in general just not paying attention.
Anyway back to Spring. It's the time of rebirth. The trees start to bud and the spring bulbs poke their heads from the ground. The grass begins to come back to life. It's an amazing time of year. It makes you feel alive and full of hope and anticipation. Soon my lilac bushes will be in full bloom with their glorious scent wafting in my windows! That's when I will know that spring has truly arrived.
The boulevard at the end of my front lawn is approximately an inch deep with sand. For those of you who prefer centimetres that would be 2.5 of them. Personally I prefer inches even though I live in Canada and we use the metric system. It's funny how during the winter we get storm warnings with 5cm of snow. It doesn't sound like so much when it's 2 inches. I always think that's funny "Oh no! 2-5 centimetres of snow! Get out the tire chains!". Or learn to drive on 1-2 inches of snow!! That's another pet peeve of mine. People who panic and do dumb things in the snow. If you've ever been to Port Perry you know how scary the Ridges can be in a snowstorm. It's actually not so much the Ridges as it is the people driving them! Don't break going down the slippery hill. Creep over the top and let your vehicle coast down and you will be a okay!
On the subject of the Ridges, they are the highest point in Durham region and can give you some interesting weather this time of the year. A couple of weeks ago I drove home in a snowstorm. When I got to the ridges because of the temperature change there was also fog. This is not a good combination for driving! Sadly in the spring and summer driving can be dangerous here too but mainly due to people passing when they shouldn't and in general just not paying attention.
Anyway back to Spring. It's the time of rebirth. The trees start to bud and the spring bulbs poke their heads from the ground. The grass begins to come back to life. It's an amazing time of year. It makes you feel alive and full of hope and anticipation. Soon my lilac bushes will be in full bloom with their glorious scent wafting in my windows! That's when I will know that spring has truly arrived.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Patriotism
If you have read my bio you know that I live in a small town called Port Perry in Ontario Canada. It's a very quaint little town which relies heavily on tourists who come year round to visit the unique shops which adorn our main street. It's very Norman Rockwellish.
For a very long time Smart Centers had been trying to bring Walmart to our outskirts. I among many was not excited at this prospect fearing that our downtown shops would suffer. I said I would not shop there but would rather travel 15 minutes south to a different Walmart if I really needed to. So the store has been built and open for a few months now. It's a smaller store and doesn't carry more than half of the products found in the large superstores. So here I go. I will admit that I have been frequenting the store. At first I was actually a little embarassed going there given my original stance on the issue.
Today I needed a couple of things and decided to make the three minute trek. It was bitter cold and windy in Port Perry today. As we neared the Smart Center plaza and Walmart store I noticed how big the Canadian flag was that blew gloriously in the wind. It made me feel good and proud to be Canadian. Then it occured to me that Walmart and Smart Centers are American companies. I thought of how patriotic Americans are and how proudly they fly their flags at their homes and businesses. It seems that everywhere you go in the USA you see the American flag flying proudly for all to see (it's a nice feeling to drive through their neighborhoods and see this). At that moment I felt a little sad that it was our American companies who were showing us how to be patriotic and who were flying our flag so proudly for us. I started to think about the fact that the biggest flags that I see flying are usually at Walmart and Smart Center entrances. Is this because they are American and it is in their nature to be so patriotic? Even with the financial mess in the USA it's next to impossible to find an unpatriotic American. I thought back to when Welcome to Mooseport was filmed in town and how many American flags were flying to make our town look like it was in the USA. There was so much patriotism and pride (American) in town.
So why aren't we so patriotic ourselves? The flags at our government buildings are nowhere near the size of those at Smart Center and Walmart entrances. Why is this and why don't more of us fly the Canadian flag outside of our homes? We seem to be quick to fly the Toronto Maple Leaf flags on our automobiles but I don't think I've seen a handful of Canadian flags in town or in Ontario for that matter (other than at the border or city halls). I for one am going to look into getting a flag for my home and making sure that I know how to display it properly.Who knows maybe it will catch on and more people will start to show their patriotism too.
For a very long time Smart Centers had been trying to bring Walmart to our outskirts. I among many was not excited at this prospect fearing that our downtown shops would suffer. I said I would not shop there but would rather travel 15 minutes south to a different Walmart if I really needed to. So the store has been built and open for a few months now. It's a smaller store and doesn't carry more than half of the products found in the large superstores. So here I go. I will admit that I have been frequenting the store. At first I was actually a little embarassed going there given my original stance on the issue.
Today I needed a couple of things and decided to make the three minute trek. It was bitter cold and windy in Port Perry today. As we neared the Smart Center plaza and Walmart store I noticed how big the Canadian flag was that blew gloriously in the wind. It made me feel good and proud to be Canadian. Then it occured to me that Walmart and Smart Centers are American companies. I thought of how patriotic Americans are and how proudly they fly their flags at their homes and businesses. It seems that everywhere you go in the USA you see the American flag flying proudly for all to see (it's a nice feeling to drive through their neighborhoods and see this). At that moment I felt a little sad that it was our American companies who were showing us how to be patriotic and who were flying our flag so proudly for us. I started to think about the fact that the biggest flags that I see flying are usually at Walmart and Smart Center entrances. Is this because they are American and it is in their nature to be so patriotic? Even with the financial mess in the USA it's next to impossible to find an unpatriotic American. I thought back to when Welcome to Mooseport was filmed in town and how many American flags were flying to make our town look like it was in the USA. There was so much patriotism and pride (American) in town.
So why aren't we so patriotic ourselves? The flags at our government buildings are nowhere near the size of those at Smart Center and Walmart entrances. Why is this and why don't more of us fly the Canadian flag outside of our homes? We seem to be quick to fly the Toronto Maple Leaf flags on our automobiles but I don't think I've seen a handful of Canadian flags in town or in Ontario for that matter (other than at the border or city halls). I for one am going to look into getting a flag for my home and making sure that I know how to display it properly.Who knows maybe it will catch on and more people will start to show their patriotism too.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
And Then There Were Five
The year was 1976. We moved from our townhouse to a house just north of Warden and Finch. Our street was full of children of all ages so we had no trouble making new friends. My sister and I joined Girl Guides and my brother joined Beavers. There we made even more friends. We had such good times in that neighborhood!
There was a hydro field behind the houses accross the street which we often played in. We would follow it to our school but it also went east and west for a very long distance. There was a bus loop there for the TTC bus to turn around after stopping at our street (there were no houses further north). I remember my brother almost drowning there after a major downpour flooded the area. The water was approximately 5 feet deep and he slipped in. The older boy from accross the street actually jumped in and saved him. He was a hero that day! Unfortunately his brother was nothing like him. He was a bully once arrested for kicking an old lady because she was walking too slow. If we went accross Warden to the high school field we could get to a stream where we went for picnics which we did often. We used to walk to Bridlewood Mall and go to Towers which was actually quite a big department store (In 1990 Zellers bought the Quebec owned chain reopening some under the new name and closing others). I remember finding a pair of toe socks (a fad that year) there and thinking they would be a great present for my sister. Standing at the cash it occurred to me that she had webbed toes (her 2nd and 3rd toes, my Mom and cousin have them too) and couldn't wear them! Instead I found a poster for her room titled 'You Know You're a Slob When'. Number eight was 'your toes are stuck together'! I think she still has the poster. We used to get pogos and wander the mall. There was a restaurant there called Sneaky Petes that we liked to go to. They served their food in baskets on parchment paper and it was good!
Our Mom was also very busy as she volunteered to be the girl guide cookie convenor for our area. This meant that all of the cookies for our district were delivered to our house (our garage was jammed with boxes!) and our Mom arganized the distribution to the various troops. Somewhere with all that she had going on she became pregnant. Not too long after she found out that she was having twins and they would be identical (odds are 1 in 250). We were so excited!! My sister and I did our best to help out around the house. This was also the year that our Mom would marry our Step Dad. They felt that it was important (even though they had been together for 5 years or so) to marry before the babies were born. The wedding was a backyard wedding at my Aunt's house (she had moved to Leaside to nice older home). Our Mom looked ready to pop and she still had three and a half months to go! I don't recall there being a honeymoon although I think we all went to my Aunt's cottage for the weekend.
The babies were due at Halloween. By the beginning of September our Mom was admitted to the hospital where she was to remain on bed rest until the babies were born. The last day of September our Step Dad's brother and his wife had their second baby (a girl) and later that night our Mom's water broke and she went into labor. I remember sitting up all night waiting for the phone call from our Step Dad. It seemed like forever. He didn't get to go into the delivery room because there was concern that one baby was coming out feet first with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around it's legs which was causing the heartbeat to fluctuate. just after 6am on October 1, 1977 the first twin was born; a red haired boy weighing 6lbs 10oz. Knowing that they were identical the second was obviously going to be a boy too. He came into the world 8 minutes later weighing 7lbs 6 oz. The doctor said he couldn't imagine how big they might have been had they been full term (most twins born at that time were 5lbs). Before long Mom and our new brothers were home and we were one big happy family. People will often indicate that they are just half brothers to us three original siblings but I have never looked at them that way. We grew up together and they are my brothers.
There were times right after they were born that we found it hard leaving to go to Dad's on weekends and later on we had to explain why they couldn't come. As they got older they understood that we had two Dad's and they just had one. They met our Dad over the years and have even been invited to his annual barbeque although they have not attended.
There was a hydro field behind the houses accross the street which we often played in. We would follow it to our school but it also went east and west for a very long distance. There was a bus loop there for the TTC bus to turn around after stopping at our street (there were no houses further north). I remember my brother almost drowning there after a major downpour flooded the area. The water was approximately 5 feet deep and he slipped in. The older boy from accross the street actually jumped in and saved him. He was a hero that day! Unfortunately his brother was nothing like him. He was a bully once arrested for kicking an old lady because she was walking too slow. If we went accross Warden to the high school field we could get to a stream where we went for picnics which we did often. We used to walk to Bridlewood Mall and go to Towers which was actually quite a big department store (In 1990 Zellers bought the Quebec owned chain reopening some under the new name and closing others). I remember finding a pair of toe socks (a fad that year) there and thinking they would be a great present for my sister. Standing at the cash it occurred to me that she had webbed toes (her 2nd and 3rd toes, my Mom and cousin have them too) and couldn't wear them! Instead I found a poster for her room titled 'You Know You're a Slob When'. Number eight was 'your toes are stuck together'! I think she still has the poster. We used to get pogos and wander the mall. There was a restaurant there called Sneaky Petes that we liked to go to. They served their food in baskets on parchment paper and it was good!
Our Mom was also very busy as she volunteered to be the girl guide cookie convenor for our area. This meant that all of the cookies for our district were delivered to our house (our garage was jammed with boxes!) and our Mom arganized the distribution to the various troops. Somewhere with all that she had going on she became pregnant. Not too long after she found out that she was having twins and they would be identical (odds are 1 in 250). We were so excited!! My sister and I did our best to help out around the house. This was also the year that our Mom would marry our Step Dad. They felt that it was important (even though they had been together for 5 years or so) to marry before the babies were born. The wedding was a backyard wedding at my Aunt's house (she had moved to Leaside to nice older home). Our Mom looked ready to pop and she still had three and a half months to go! I don't recall there being a honeymoon although I think we all went to my Aunt's cottage for the weekend.
The babies were due at Halloween. By the beginning of September our Mom was admitted to the hospital where she was to remain on bed rest until the babies were born. The last day of September our Step Dad's brother and his wife had their second baby (a girl) and later that night our Mom's water broke and she went into labor. I remember sitting up all night waiting for the phone call from our Step Dad. It seemed like forever. He didn't get to go into the delivery room because there was concern that one baby was coming out feet first with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around it's legs which was causing the heartbeat to fluctuate. just after 6am on October 1, 1977 the first twin was born; a red haired boy weighing 6lbs 10oz. Knowing that they were identical the second was obviously going to be a boy too. He came into the world 8 minutes later weighing 7lbs 6 oz. The doctor said he couldn't imagine how big they might have been had they been full term (most twins born at that time were 5lbs). Before long Mom and our new brothers were home and we were one big happy family. People will often indicate that they are just half brothers to us three original siblings but I have never looked at them that way. We grew up together and they are my brothers.
There were times right after they were born that we found it hard leaving to go to Dad's on weekends and later on we had to explain why they couldn't come. As they got older they understood that we had two Dad's and they just had one. They met our Dad over the years and have even been invited to his annual barbeque although they have not attended.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Save Our Families
Have you ever wondered why many marriages don't work and homes become broken? As a kid I thought that my parents were the only ones who didn't make it. As I got older I realized that this was not the case. I think as the years go by we are seeing higher divorce rates and many couples that opt for no marriage at all. Are we overstressed and overworked? Or do we just not believe in marriage anymore? I have my own theory.
It comes from the observation that would seem in yesteryear people stayed married even if they were not happy or had fallen out of love. Or was it something else? I think it was partly due to the stay at home Mom. Mom was the homemaker, and she didn't see alot of any other world. I don't think there was any discontent in running the household. It was what her Mother had done and her Mother's Mother before her. The husband went to work and brought home a paycheck and the wife stayed home kept the house clean, the laundry done, the meals cooked and the children looked after. Times were much simpler then. There was no need for two cars, or huge wardrobes with hundreds of pairs of shoes, and meals were either at home or made from home and eaten out of a lunch box. Eating out at a restaurant was a treat. Sit down family dinners were the norm (not an option) and full of conversation about everybodys' day. They didn't include The Simpsons or Family Guy.
This is where I think the world changed. I might be a hypocrite saying this (because I love television as much as the next person) but I think it has played a big part in the downfall of marriage and family values. First off we have Soaps (aptly named because most of the ads run during the earlier versions were for household soaps and detergents). Not many men can compete with the men of the daytime drama. Even the bad boys are unrealistically romantic, helpful and rarely do they not have strikingly good looks and washboard abs. The same can be said for most of the women but fortunately for us most men do not watch soaps. The women of soaps morphed into strong career women (that's okay) and led the way for women to leave the house in pursuit of a different life. In the soap world this worked but we live in the real world.
It still seems that although many women go to work, most are still expected to do 'woman's work' around the house. How happy can one be if they work forty hours a week, make dinner, do the laundry, keep the house clean, make lunches for the next day, and look after the children while at home? Seriously think about this. Get up early, make sure the kids have breakfast and get ready for school or daycare (often drop them off as well), keep in mind also getting herself ready (and likely having to find something that hubby needs before he leaves), go to work for eight hours, often run an errand at lunch, pick the kids up, either pick up dinner or go home and make it, clean up after dinner, maybe wash dry and fold a load of laundry (maybe unload and load a dishwasher too), help the kids with homework, get them ready for bed, make their lunches for the next day, clean up after the pet that the children were going to look after... Did that sentence seem long? It sure was long and tiring just like a typical day and to top it all off she's supposed to still have energy when she goes to bed. How many of you know what I mean? Maybe you would just like to talk about your day or something funny that one of the children said or did or just go to sleep. Sexual tension is a big problem in a marriage and I suspect a common one. If you ask your husband, he's the only man in this predicament and he doesn't understand why.
Another observation is the lack of family values and morals among our children. We don't have enough time for them. They used to at least get Mom's attention when she stayed home and they were excited to see Dad when he got home (unless they were in trouble in which case they probably hoped he would not come home). Now they go to daycare as babies and then segway to allday school for twelve to thirteen years (then they're gone to college or university). When they're home they're often parked in front of the tv, computer, or video game because it's easier not to have to deal with them (as we have so much to do). Often the attention we do pay them is asking for chores to be done or assisting with homework which they don't really want to do anyway. So we have become nags to our children (also causing us extra tension). We need to spend more quality time with them. Time is precious; they grow up so fast and we are missing out on so much of their lives!
So why are we doing this? Stuff! We all want more stuff. We think we need to keep up wiith the Joneses (no offense to the Joneses) but we don't. They're probably not as happy as we think hiding behind their stuff. Just think of how much money is spent because two people work. An extra car plus it's insurance and gas (600-700/mth?). Daycare likely for two (300/wk=1200/mth). A nice wardrobe with matching shoes, boots, cosmetics etc (realistically the working woman likely spends 200+/mth). Then there's fast food which likely includes a couple of lunches out and a family dinner once a week sometimes twice (60-70/wk 240-280/mth). Probably on average we are looking at 2300-2500 realistically in a month for a working family with two small children. Is it really worth it? Ultimately how much do we come home with at the end of the month? I don't think this is always thought through. We have made ourselves far too busy and stressed and our families and marriages are suffering because of it.
So what can we do? Quitting our jobs is not realistic at this point because we already have too much stuff to pay for. We can help each other more. Split the chores 50/50 which will make more family time and not make one person feel drained at the end of the day. Make sure we have sit down family dinners with no tv! Do things as a family even if it's just pulling out the monopoly board or playing a game of cards. Go outdoors for walks as a family or even just sit on the porch and have a conversation as we watch the children play with neighborhood friends. Remember the summer of 2003 when the power went out for a few days? Sure we had to scramble to find a way to keep food cold and gas became scarce, but to be honest it was nice! Luckily it was summer so nobody was cold and we could use our bbqs for cooking. There was no tv, no computers, and no video games (in other words no distractions). We got out and spent time together, played games together as a family (by candlelight at night), and sat and gazed at the stars from our back deck. Most of all we talked! It was so peaceful. For three days we became families again. I would be okay if the power was turned off once a year for 3-4 days. I think it would save alot of families.
It comes from the observation that would seem in yesteryear people stayed married even if they were not happy or had fallen out of love. Or was it something else? I think it was partly due to the stay at home Mom. Mom was the homemaker, and she didn't see alot of any other world. I don't think there was any discontent in running the household. It was what her Mother had done and her Mother's Mother before her. The husband went to work and brought home a paycheck and the wife stayed home kept the house clean, the laundry done, the meals cooked and the children looked after. Times were much simpler then. There was no need for two cars, or huge wardrobes with hundreds of pairs of shoes, and meals were either at home or made from home and eaten out of a lunch box. Eating out at a restaurant was a treat. Sit down family dinners were the norm (not an option) and full of conversation about everybodys' day. They didn't include The Simpsons or Family Guy.
This is where I think the world changed. I might be a hypocrite saying this (because I love television as much as the next person) but I think it has played a big part in the downfall of marriage and family values. First off we have Soaps (aptly named because most of the ads run during the earlier versions were for household soaps and detergents). Not many men can compete with the men of the daytime drama. Even the bad boys are unrealistically romantic, helpful and rarely do they not have strikingly good looks and washboard abs. The same can be said for most of the women but fortunately for us most men do not watch soaps. The women of soaps morphed into strong career women (that's okay) and led the way for women to leave the house in pursuit of a different life. In the soap world this worked but we live in the real world.
It still seems that although many women go to work, most are still expected to do 'woman's work' around the house. How happy can one be if they work forty hours a week, make dinner, do the laundry, keep the house clean, make lunches for the next day, and look after the children while at home? Seriously think about this. Get up early, make sure the kids have breakfast and get ready for school or daycare (often drop them off as well), keep in mind also getting herself ready (and likely having to find something that hubby needs before he leaves), go to work for eight hours, often run an errand at lunch, pick the kids up, either pick up dinner or go home and make it, clean up after dinner, maybe wash dry and fold a load of laundry (maybe unload and load a dishwasher too), help the kids with homework, get them ready for bed, make their lunches for the next day, clean up after the pet that the children were going to look after... Did that sentence seem long? It sure was long and tiring just like a typical day and to top it all off she's supposed to still have energy when she goes to bed. How many of you know what I mean? Maybe you would just like to talk about your day or something funny that one of the children said or did or just go to sleep. Sexual tension is a big problem in a marriage and I suspect a common one. If you ask your husband, he's the only man in this predicament and he doesn't understand why.
Another observation is the lack of family values and morals among our children. We don't have enough time for them. They used to at least get Mom's attention when she stayed home and they were excited to see Dad when he got home (unless they were in trouble in which case they probably hoped he would not come home). Now they go to daycare as babies and then segway to allday school for twelve to thirteen years (then they're gone to college or university). When they're home they're often parked in front of the tv, computer, or video game because it's easier not to have to deal with them (as we have so much to do). Often the attention we do pay them is asking for chores to be done or assisting with homework which they don't really want to do anyway. So we have become nags to our children (also causing us extra tension). We need to spend more quality time with them. Time is precious; they grow up so fast and we are missing out on so much of their lives!
So why are we doing this? Stuff! We all want more stuff. We think we need to keep up wiith the Joneses (no offense to the Joneses) but we don't. They're probably not as happy as we think hiding behind their stuff. Just think of how much money is spent because two people work. An extra car plus it's insurance and gas (600-700/mth?). Daycare likely for two (300/wk=1200/mth). A nice wardrobe with matching shoes, boots, cosmetics etc (realistically the working woman likely spends 200+/mth). Then there's fast food which likely includes a couple of lunches out and a family dinner once a week sometimes twice (60-70/wk 240-280/mth). Probably on average we are looking at 2300-2500 realistically in a month for a working family with two small children. Is it really worth it? Ultimately how much do we come home with at the end of the month? I don't think this is always thought through. We have made ourselves far too busy and stressed and our families and marriages are suffering because of it.
So what can we do? Quitting our jobs is not realistic at this point because we already have too much stuff to pay for. We can help each other more. Split the chores 50/50 which will make more family time and not make one person feel drained at the end of the day. Make sure we have sit down family dinners with no tv! Do things as a family even if it's just pulling out the monopoly board or playing a game of cards. Go outdoors for walks as a family or even just sit on the porch and have a conversation as we watch the children play with neighborhood friends. Remember the summer of 2003 when the power went out for a few days? Sure we had to scramble to find a way to keep food cold and gas became scarce, but to be honest it was nice! Luckily it was summer so nobody was cold and we could use our bbqs for cooking. There was no tv, no computers, and no video games (in other words no distractions). We got out and spent time together, played games together as a family (by candlelight at night), and sat and gazed at the stars from our back deck. Most of all we talked! It was so peaceful. For three days we became families again. I would be okay if the power was turned off once a year for 3-4 days. I think it would save alot of families.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Quick Wit Sister
My daughters are 17 and 12. I try not to get too involved in their spats as they come and go. For any mothers, daughters and/or sisters out there you know what I mean. I can never win if I try to intervene and I never know the right time to do so. There are times when I step in only to be told that they are just having fun. The fact that somebody is about to lose an eye does not occur to either of them.
For some reason in my home it always seems to be the youngest getting the best of her older sister. My eldest daughter is rather touchy (partly her age). She can dish it out but does not like when it comes back at her and this is often when the fights occur. Although I must admit, my youngest really knows how to push peoples' buttons!
For any of you who have a sister you know that it's a love hate relationship. I never know when I come home from work if they are going to be buddies curled up watching a favorite show or enemies with battlegrounds drawn, doors slamming, and screaming at each other. Sometimes they say things to each other in the heat of the moment that makes them pause and laugh and they can't help but be friends again. Last night when I got home they were arguing because the 17 year old found all of her earrings she had been looking for in the jewellery box of her younger sister. Instead of owning up the youngest asked why her sister had gone into her room. A bit of an arguement ensued and words were exchanged (at least nothing was being thrown not even punches).
The arguement actually ended in laughter when the younger one told her sister "If I ever need a brain transplant I would like yours because it's unused!". All three of us burst out laughing and the world was again at harmony. That's life with sisters.
For some reason in my home it always seems to be the youngest getting the best of her older sister. My eldest daughter is rather touchy (partly her age). She can dish it out but does not like when it comes back at her and this is often when the fights occur. Although I must admit, my youngest really knows how to push peoples' buttons!
For any of you who have a sister you know that it's a love hate relationship. I never know when I come home from work if they are going to be buddies curled up watching a favorite show or enemies with battlegrounds drawn, doors slamming, and screaming at each other. Sometimes they say things to each other in the heat of the moment that makes them pause and laugh and they can't help but be friends again. Last night when I got home they were arguing because the 17 year old found all of her earrings she had been looking for in the jewellery box of her younger sister. Instead of owning up the youngest asked why her sister had gone into her room. A bit of an arguement ensued and words were exchanged (at least nothing was being thrown not even punches).
The arguement actually ended in laughter when the younger one told her sister "If I ever need a brain transplant I would like yours because it's unused!". All three of us burst out laughing and the world was again at harmony. That's life with sisters.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Weekend Dad
After my parents divorce we only saw our Dad every other weekend. Saying that makes me realize why he didn't think he was getting enough visitation time. My Dad loved us more than anything in the world and he always let us know that. Even though he could have bad mouthed our Mom he never did (not to us anyway). It wasn't until we were in our teens that he opened up about coming home and finding that we were gone. He was devastated. My Dad and my Uncle were very close and even went vacationing together. This was a bit of a sore spot as he was married to my Mom's sister but I think he saved my Dad. He was there for him at the time he was needed most.
We had a great time when we went to his house. Of course because he stayed in the house we had all of our friends and our backyard pool. My Dad dated a few women after he and my Mom split up. One of the most memorable was a woman who had no interest in us kids. She was very self centered and when she told my Dad that she would see him when we weren't around he told her that they were done.
Dad also bought a cottage on Chemong lake near Peterborough. That's where we had our best adventures.For anyone who knows Chemong Lake you know that there are some very weedy spots (actually alot of weedy spots). Our cottage was in a bay which made it that much weedier. The people who owned the cottage next door had cleared the weeds and had a beach which is where we swam from the most. They had a grandaughter around the age of my sister and I. We spent alot of time together. She also had cousins who visited their Grandparents a few doors down. They came up from the US every summer. Funny what we remember from our childhoods. I don't remember the names of the two girls but I alway remember the name of the boy. His name was TJ and the reason I remember this is because of the little bird that we would hear first thing each morning. We always said it was calling tee jay, tee jay!
We used to go up sometimes during the colder months and my uncle would come too. He had such a great imagination! He told us that the bunkhouse was actually a chocolate factory and he knew the secret of how to activate it. How could we dispute what he said when boxes of chocolate always appeared inside when he came. He was also a very good artist. I still have a watercolor painting he did of the cottage on the back page of one of my coloring books. We always had fun with him. That's just the kind of guy he was (although that does not make for a good husband). He passed away just before my son was born. I really miss him.
My Uncle introduced my Dad to my (now) Step Mom. Apparently he had gone to a bar one night and met two girls so he called my Dad. They hit it off immediately. She was going through a tough time raising five kids on her own. Her ex husband was an alcoholic and not much of a contributor. Anyway we got along great with her kids. Weekends at the cottage became even more of an adventure! We played baseball although somehow Dad's team always got stacked and a cry fest occurred before us non athletes quit. Kick the can was fun. Does anyone remember playing kick the can? It's kind of a different take on hide and seek. We used to go on day long hikes (just us kids) which when I think about now is a scary thought. We used to go through the woods and find our way to a general store which was about five miles away. We would take our lunch and come back before dinner. I'm actually not really sure how we found our way, we just did. There was a bay full of painted turtles where we used to go in the aluminum boat. Did you know that painted turtles bite? Coming home with one on my lap onetime I was bit. It actually clamped onto my elbow while I was driving the boat. We almost crashed as we tried frantically to smack it off. There were actually alot of snapping turtles in the lake. With the amount of weeds they had great places to hide. One time while swimming in the bay we saw a head come up that was about the size of a softball. We all scrambled to get out except for the youngest. We didn't want her to make a sudden movement because it was right behind her so we told her that her Mom said she had to come out. She said no that she didn't have to. After much futile arguement we finally told her to look behind her. As she started to swim the head went under. We raced into the water and grabbed her to get her out faster. We didn't swim in the bay after that.
Memories of weekends with my Dad are important to me. I wish I could share them all. I don't see him enough now which I think needs to change. The March Break is coming up and I am off work so I think we will pay him a visit.
We had a great time when we went to his house. Of course because he stayed in the house we had all of our friends and our backyard pool. My Dad dated a few women after he and my Mom split up. One of the most memorable was a woman who had no interest in us kids. She was very self centered and when she told my Dad that she would see him when we weren't around he told her that they were done.
Dad also bought a cottage on Chemong lake near Peterborough. That's where we had our best adventures.For anyone who knows Chemong Lake you know that there are some very weedy spots (actually alot of weedy spots). Our cottage was in a bay which made it that much weedier. The people who owned the cottage next door had cleared the weeds and had a beach which is where we swam from the most. They had a grandaughter around the age of my sister and I. We spent alot of time together. She also had cousins who visited their Grandparents a few doors down. They came up from the US every summer. Funny what we remember from our childhoods. I don't remember the names of the two girls but I alway remember the name of the boy. His name was TJ and the reason I remember this is because of the little bird that we would hear first thing each morning. We always said it was calling tee jay, tee jay!
We used to go up sometimes during the colder months and my uncle would come too. He had such a great imagination! He told us that the bunkhouse was actually a chocolate factory and he knew the secret of how to activate it. How could we dispute what he said when boxes of chocolate always appeared inside when he came. He was also a very good artist. I still have a watercolor painting he did of the cottage on the back page of one of my coloring books. We always had fun with him. That's just the kind of guy he was (although that does not make for a good husband). He passed away just before my son was born. I really miss him.
My Uncle introduced my Dad to my (now) Step Mom. Apparently he had gone to a bar one night and met two girls so he called my Dad. They hit it off immediately. She was going through a tough time raising five kids on her own. Her ex husband was an alcoholic and not much of a contributor. Anyway we got along great with her kids. Weekends at the cottage became even more of an adventure! We played baseball although somehow Dad's team always got stacked and a cry fest occurred before us non athletes quit. Kick the can was fun. Does anyone remember playing kick the can? It's kind of a different take on hide and seek. We used to go on day long hikes (just us kids) which when I think about now is a scary thought. We used to go through the woods and find our way to a general store which was about five miles away. We would take our lunch and come back before dinner. I'm actually not really sure how we found our way, we just did. There was a bay full of painted turtles where we used to go in the aluminum boat. Did you know that painted turtles bite? Coming home with one on my lap onetime I was bit. It actually clamped onto my elbow while I was driving the boat. We almost crashed as we tried frantically to smack it off. There were actually alot of snapping turtles in the lake. With the amount of weeds they had great places to hide. One time while swimming in the bay we saw a head come up that was about the size of a softball. We all scrambled to get out except for the youngest. We didn't want her to make a sudden movement because it was right behind her so we told her that her Mom said she had to come out. She said no that she didn't have to. After much futile arguement we finally told her to look behind her. As she started to swim the head went under. We raced into the water and grabbed her to get her out faster. We didn't swim in the bay after that.
Memories of weekends with my Dad are important to me. I wish I could share them all. I don't see him enough now which I think needs to change. The March Break is coming up and I am off work so I think we will pay him a visit.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Scentsy
So where does Scentsable Gifts come from? I work as an independant consultant for Scentsy Canada. It is a fabulous company with great products which practically sell themselves (and it keeps me from going insane working at a call center). I was at a family barbecue in August and saw what my step sister was selling and I was immediately hooked! There are many different products to choose from. They include warmers which warm scentsy's special scented wax (warmers come in many sizes and include plug ins too), car fragrances, room sprays, travel tins, hand sanitizing foam, and stuffed animals (buddies) which come with a special scent pak (scent paks can be ordered separately to use anywhere). Scentsy products contain no phthalates which are common in many of the storebought products that we use to make our homes smell nice. So why not just buy candles? First of all many house fires are started by unattended or forgotten candles. Scentsy warmers are electric so there is no flame. The lack of flame also means no smoke, soot, or lead. There are so many designs to choose from. They are safe around pets and children. There are also warmers that are suited for childrens rooms which make great night lights. All scentsy products have a lifetime warranty on parts which is not very common.
A new line of products called Layers by Scentsy will also be available starting March 1. These are bath and body and laundry products. The bath and body includes shower gels, body butters, lotions, body sprays, and solid perfumes. The laundry products include dryer discs and wash infusions.
A new line of products called Layers by Scentsy will also be available starting March 1. These are bath and body and laundry products. The bath and body includes shower gels, body butters, lotions, body sprays, and solid perfumes. The laundry products include dryer discs and wash infusions.
A Marriage Ends
So began a new chapter in our lives. Mom and Dad were not going to be together anymore. I don't think we realized this at first. One day a moving truck came and took our stuff to my Aunt's house. It was like an adventure for us as we loved spending time with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins. Our cousins were about ten years or so older than I was so we looked up to them. My Aunt's house was in the Leslie and Sheppard area and backed on to what I think was the original Windfields Farm. I think it was called Parkwood Stable. Can you imagine there being a farm around there now? The farm was moved to Oshawa where it thrived until the death of E.P Taylor in 1989 and later the death of his son Charles in 1997. The farm in Oshawa was the birthplace of Northern Dancer one of the world's greatest racehorses (he was later known for his record breaking stud fees of one million plus dollars). Sadly the farm has been sold to developers and to the University of Ontario. There is an area that will be preserved as a memorial park which happens to be the site where Northern Dancer is buried. It's sad to go by there and not see graceful horses roaming the fields anymore.
Back to my new adventure or should I say our new adventure. During a counselling session my Dad was apparently asked if he would put more effort into his marriage. As you would have it my Mom was president of the local Nursery School and a sore spot was the fact that he would not attend any functions with her but when it came to his work functions she was expected to attend. He was actually a very sociable guy so I'm not sure what the problem was. He wanted to go on vacations for two but she felt that all vacations should be as a family which was another sore spot. I think she wanted him to help around the house more as well and his feeling was likely that she was at home all day and he did not need to come home and help out (even with us). Boy he is such a different person now! Anyway during the counselling session when he was asked this question he replied that he had no intention of changing anything. My Mom told both him and the therapist that she intended to look for someone else. Maybe he thought she was kidding because it seemed to come as a shock to him when she actually left. I don't know if he was upset that she left, that she had found someone else or that she had taken us.
We actually knew the person my Mom had "found". He had known me since I was born (I guess I had known him too but not until I was old enough to actually know someone). My sister came running down the hall at my Aunt's house one morning yelling *** ***** is in bed with our Mom!!! Sorry but no actual names. We really liked him. He was alot of fun. He joked around and did things with us. My Mom seemed happy too which made things better. Before long we moved into a new townhome nearby. My Mom left the house for my Dad which was nice for us when we went for our weekend visits. We still got to see our old friends.
In our new home we met lots of new friends. There was a family down the way who had two girls the same age as my sister and I. We became instant best friends as did our Moms. We had some great adventures with them. The complex was very big and had a swimming pool and a huge playground shared by three townhouse complexes. We were actually in a stacked townhouse which meant we didn't have a backyard just a terrace so the playground was great. It's funny how much the world has changed since then. We used to go all over the place. There was a ravine behind our school where we used to go exploring. We would take a lunch and not come home until dinner time. There was not as much supervision back then but it didn't seem as though we needed it (well not always). One time when our friends' parents went away they came and stayed with us. My Mom had the key to their house to water the plants (plants were a big thing back then) which we decided to take one day and let ourselves in. We had a great time playing with the toys in the attic that had been bought for Christmas, we popped colored popcorn, played dressup and had a little party (just the four of us). We didn't think anybody would know but unfortunately a couple of colored kernels were found on the floor causing further investigation. Back then spanking was not abnormal (I still think it has it's place) but who would have thought that my Mom would allow the neighbour to spank us? I guess they were really angry and my Mom was feeling as though we had duped her.
We were best friends and did everything together including learning about the birds and bees. We had a group session with our Moms. They had found the book "Where Did I Come From" (I later bought this for my kids and would recommend it to anyone) and we read it and had a discussion. It's always kind of a shock when you learn for the first time how that works. I'm sure the first thought is always EWWWW!
Around this time I had another friend that I talked to. I don't usually mention this but it's kind of funny. I don't remember actually seeing him but he was apparently an alien who would visit me at night and sometimes talk to me through a homemade dixie cup phone. He actually had a name. His name was Captain Oogligloop. How weird is that? I guess I must have made him up so I had someone to tell my private thoughts to. I was seven so I can't say I really remember but I will say that I do believe that there is other life out there. To me it seems ridiculous to think that in a universe so vast we could be the only life form. I have a friend who strongly believes that I was visited. I guess I'll never actually know.
We learned alot in those early years. We learned to accept others as they are. We had a next door neighbour who was a thalidamide baby. She was actually around fifteen when we moved in. She astounded us with her talents. She could dress our barbies with her toes! She could tie my brothers shoes with her toes (back then shoes had laces)! She could write with her toes. Funny thing. I guess as children we were more accepting than our adult counterparts. Apparently some parents rallied and complained that she was taking her shoe and sock off in class to hold her pen or pencil so she wasn't allowed to do it anymore. They gave her some weird contraption to use. As kids we were amazed at what she could do but I guess parents didn't see it that way.
Alot happened over the years living on Shawnessy Boulevard but I'll save some of them for another day! Time for some housework.
Back to my new adventure or should I say our new adventure. During a counselling session my Dad was apparently asked if he would put more effort into his marriage. As you would have it my Mom was president of the local Nursery School and a sore spot was the fact that he would not attend any functions with her but when it came to his work functions she was expected to attend. He was actually a very sociable guy so I'm not sure what the problem was. He wanted to go on vacations for two but she felt that all vacations should be as a family which was another sore spot. I think she wanted him to help around the house more as well and his feeling was likely that she was at home all day and he did not need to come home and help out (even with us). Boy he is such a different person now! Anyway during the counselling session when he was asked this question he replied that he had no intention of changing anything. My Mom told both him and the therapist that she intended to look for someone else. Maybe he thought she was kidding because it seemed to come as a shock to him when she actually left. I don't know if he was upset that she left, that she had found someone else or that she had taken us.
We actually knew the person my Mom had "found". He had known me since I was born (I guess I had known him too but not until I was old enough to actually know someone). My sister came running down the hall at my Aunt's house one morning yelling *** ***** is in bed with our Mom!!! Sorry but no actual names. We really liked him. He was alot of fun. He joked around and did things with us. My Mom seemed happy too which made things better. Before long we moved into a new townhome nearby. My Mom left the house for my Dad which was nice for us when we went for our weekend visits. We still got to see our old friends.
In our new home we met lots of new friends. There was a family down the way who had two girls the same age as my sister and I. We became instant best friends as did our Moms. We had some great adventures with them. The complex was very big and had a swimming pool and a huge playground shared by three townhouse complexes. We were actually in a stacked townhouse which meant we didn't have a backyard just a terrace so the playground was great. It's funny how much the world has changed since then. We used to go all over the place. There was a ravine behind our school where we used to go exploring. We would take a lunch and not come home until dinner time. There was not as much supervision back then but it didn't seem as though we needed it (well not always). One time when our friends' parents went away they came and stayed with us. My Mom had the key to their house to water the plants (plants were a big thing back then) which we decided to take one day and let ourselves in. We had a great time playing with the toys in the attic that had been bought for Christmas, we popped colored popcorn, played dressup and had a little party (just the four of us). We didn't think anybody would know but unfortunately a couple of colored kernels were found on the floor causing further investigation. Back then spanking was not abnormal (I still think it has it's place) but who would have thought that my Mom would allow the neighbour to spank us? I guess they were really angry and my Mom was feeling as though we had duped her.
We were best friends and did everything together including learning about the birds and bees. We had a group session with our Moms. They had found the book "Where Did I Come From" (I later bought this for my kids and would recommend it to anyone) and we read it and had a discussion. It's always kind of a shock when you learn for the first time how that works. I'm sure the first thought is always EWWWW!
Around this time I had another friend that I talked to. I don't usually mention this but it's kind of funny. I don't remember actually seeing him but he was apparently an alien who would visit me at night and sometimes talk to me through a homemade dixie cup phone. He actually had a name. His name was Captain Oogligloop. How weird is that? I guess I must have made him up so I had someone to tell my private thoughts to. I was seven so I can't say I really remember but I will say that I do believe that there is other life out there. To me it seems ridiculous to think that in a universe so vast we could be the only life form. I have a friend who strongly believes that I was visited. I guess I'll never actually know.
We learned alot in those early years. We learned to accept others as they are. We had a next door neighbour who was a thalidamide baby. She was actually around fifteen when we moved in. She astounded us with her talents. She could dress our barbies with her toes! She could tie my brothers shoes with her toes (back then shoes had laces)! She could write with her toes. Funny thing. I guess as children we were more accepting than our adult counterparts. Apparently some parents rallied and complained that she was taking her shoe and sock off in class to hold her pen or pencil so she wasn't allowed to do it anymore. They gave her some weird contraption to use. As kids we were amazed at what she could do but I guess parents didn't see it that way.
Alot happened over the years living on Shawnessy Boulevard but I'll save some of them for another day! Time for some housework.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Oscar Night
I'm not feeling too creative tonight; it might be the stress of going to work tomorrow. I only work three days a week (Monday-Wednesday) but at a call centre that seems like an eternity! Thursday is usually spent unwinding, Friday getting caught up on housework, Saturday doing family things and Sunday psyching myself up to go back to work Monday.
So it's Oscar Night and I should be watching (or so it would seem from posts on fb). Is there something wrong with me if I'm not glued to the awards ceremony? Don't get me wrong, I have been keeping up to date via twitter and facebook! From what I've heard Gwyneth Paltrow is best dressed, Christopher Plummer (yah Canada) has won an oscar, and Angelina is showing too much skin (apparently her leg already has twitter followers)! I hear that Billy Crystal brought his flare back as host, animated short goes to a Louisiana Swamp Rat? and Robert Downey Junior was caught Tebowing! Woody Allen wins for Best Original Screenplay and is a no show? To be honest I didn't realize he still made movies. Did Meryl Streep lose again? She and Susan Lucci must be running neck in neck for losses (actually I think Susan Lucci may have finally won an Emmy). Best Supporting Actress to Octavia Spencer for her role in The Help. I really liked that movie. I seem to remember as a young child that we had a cleaning lady who came once or twice a week. I think she was a black lady and although I don't really remember I'm sure she was not treated that way (I would be ashamed of my Mom if she was). It sounds as though the biggest thing I did miss was the Cirque de Soleil show.
To be honest if AMC's The Walking Dead hadn't been on tonight I might have watched the Oscars. Yes there you have it, I am a fan of the Walkers! I started watching a few episodes into the first season and although some of it is very gross I am hooked! I probably could have watched it at midnight but I likely would have fallen asleep and missed it. Did I just hear on the news that George Clooney lost? Oh now I'm glad I wasn't watching! Oops this just in Meryl Streep did win! It's about time, this was 14 nominations? Well that's the extent of my interest as I understand that a movie called The Artist is set to win Best Picture. I didn't see it and thus far don't intend to.
So it's off to the shower and bed for me as tomorrow will be here before I know it and I will be on my way to my nightmare call centre job! Just three days, I can make it! Can't I just win the lottery? It would be so much easier. Goodnight all and have a pleasant tomorrow!
So it's Oscar Night and I should be watching (or so it would seem from posts on fb). Is there something wrong with me if I'm not glued to the awards ceremony? Don't get me wrong, I have been keeping up to date via twitter and facebook! From what I've heard Gwyneth Paltrow is best dressed, Christopher Plummer (yah Canada) has won an oscar, and Angelina is showing too much skin (apparently her leg already has twitter followers)! I hear that Billy Crystal brought his flare back as host, animated short goes to a Louisiana Swamp Rat? and Robert Downey Junior was caught Tebowing! Woody Allen wins for Best Original Screenplay and is a no show? To be honest I didn't realize he still made movies. Did Meryl Streep lose again? She and Susan Lucci must be running neck in neck for losses (actually I think Susan Lucci may have finally won an Emmy). Best Supporting Actress to Octavia Spencer for her role in The Help. I really liked that movie. I seem to remember as a young child that we had a cleaning lady who came once or twice a week. I think she was a black lady and although I don't really remember I'm sure she was not treated that way (I would be ashamed of my Mom if she was). It sounds as though the biggest thing I did miss was the Cirque de Soleil show.
To be honest if AMC's The Walking Dead hadn't been on tonight I might have watched the Oscars. Yes there you have it, I am a fan of the Walkers! I started watching a few episodes into the first season and although some of it is very gross I am hooked! I probably could have watched it at midnight but I likely would have fallen asleep and missed it. Did I just hear on the news that George Clooney lost? Oh now I'm glad I wasn't watching! Oops this just in Meryl Streep did win! It's about time, this was 14 nominations? Well that's the extent of my interest as I understand that a movie called The Artist is set to win Best Picture. I didn't see it and thus far don't intend to.
So it's off to the shower and bed for me as tomorrow will be here before I know it and I will be on my way to my nightmare call centre job! Just three days, I can make it! Can't I just win the lottery? It would be so much easier. Goodnight all and have a pleasant tomorrow!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
A Little History
So I was born Easter weekend in 1966. I don't remember much about it, actually nothing comes to mind at all. I have been told though that there was a very big snowstorm (one of Toronto's biggest although I don't think the Army was called in). In my almost 46 years (don't know how I got to be so old!) I can only remember a few of my birthdays with no snowfall. While we're on the topic of old I noticed the other day while filling out a contest ballot that I've moved to the next age group. 45-54. When did this happen? I actually lost track of my age before my last birthday. I was asked by an older family friend (whom I hadn't seen in years) how old I was and I answered that I would be 44 in April. Luckily my younger brother was there to remind me that I would actually turn 45. I laid in bed that night thinking how old that would make me. I had always considered 45 to be middle aged. My parents were middle aged or at least they used to be. My birth and childhood were history. How did this happen without me noticing?
My parents lived in Leaside (an area of Toronto) when I was born. I came into the world folded like a taco and bum first weighing 6lbs 10oz. I can't imagine what that experience must have been like for my poor mother! In today's world I would never have been delivered naturally. I'm not sure if it is possible to have any memories of your first year. I know I don't.
When I was 15 months old my 7lb sister was born. I couldn't say her name so I called her Sassy (to this day she is known to everyone as Sas). She was my first best friend (over the years we would take a few breaks from this friendship). The day my Mom came home from the hospital was the day we moved to our new house in Agincourt. Being so young I can't say I remember much but from what I've heard the house was disgusting and bordering on condemnation. It was a fixer upper and needed alot of attention but it belonged to us. My parents worked very hard to make it our home. A huge hedge surrounding the front yard was cut down and the lawn resodded. Every room of the house needed scrubbing and repainting and carpets replacing. I only have memories of how it looked after. It was a nice little three bedroom bungalow near Kennedy and Sheppard. Actually when I drive past it now it seems so much smaller than I remember. Unfortunately it has also once again fallen into disrepair. The current owners should be embarassed by it's appearance.
In 1970 my brother was born. When we saw him for the first time we asked why our Mom didn't get one of the tiny new babies (he weighed almost 10lbs!). I think it was around that time that my parents put the pool in our backyard. That was big excitement in the neighbourhood as I'm pretty sure we were the first to have an inground pool. It's amazing how many people thought it was a community pool and would send their kids in the morning in a bathing suit with a towel assuming that my Mom was the lifeguard. I don't know what goes through peoples minds!
I have many great memories growing up in that house. We would walk to Agincourt mall to get flip chips at Woolco (not sure what they tasted like but I can remember smelling them as you walked in the doors). I also vividly remember the day in 1971 that the Tam O Shanter Golf Clubhouse burned to the ground. We went to watch the firefighters put out the huge blaze. I remember standing near the mall and being able to feel the heat from the flames.
Our neighbourhood was teaming with kids. One family was wonderful enough to adopt six over the years. They were so excited as they brought each child home. Two were my age. A boy and a girl. I guess I would consider the boy to have been my first boyfriend. I had a crush on him for many years (even as a teenager). My fondest memories with them usually took place in their backyard treehouse which they called the green onion. On one side we had a nice dutch family who raised rabbits in their yard. We were mortified to find out that after playing with one of them that they ate it for dinner the next night! They had the most beautiful tulip garden each year, just a wave of colour. I have vivid memories of their two year old taking the brake off in the car and rolling it down the sloped driveway and onto the road. For a while this was a daily occurance. Our neighbours to the other side had two girls the same ages as my sister and I which worked out perfectly, although sometimes we got into trouble together. Sometimes we got blamed for their trouble like the time they picked all of the tulip heads off of the dutch lady's garden and left them scattered on our lawn. Luckily they owned up to it before the neighbour said something to my Mom that she would have regretted. She was livid!! I've heard stories about me disappearing for hours and nobody being able to find me (I think I was 5). My little friend from next door finally admitted that she and I had snuck into a neighbours backyard (the second home to install a pool) and that she had left me there in the pool. The family was away for a few months and actually had the pool drained. We had climbed down the ladder and were running around the empty pool until my friend decided to go home for lunch and pulled the ladder out leaving me stuck. Another time my sister helped a neighbour child by giving her a haircut. This did not go over well with her Mother especially because she was to be a flower girl in a wedding that weekend! Technically it was probably her Mother's fault as she had scissors hanging in her garage where they could be reached. It was such a different time back then. Children could roam the neighbourhood safely. Nobody needed to worry unless we didn't show up for a meal.
When my brother was two we went to Daytona beach and Disney on a family vacation. When we arrived at the hotel he fell in the wading pool and sank to the bottom. My Dad had to jump in fully clothed and pull him out. Silly brother, I guess he preferred to drown in Florida rather than in our own backyard pool. Maybe he was looking for an insurance payout. My sister also had an incident on the beach when she was almost hit by a car after running frantically from a wave that touched her feet. Funny thing was that the first day at the pool she went flying up the big slide and flew down it into the deep end of the pool. I was much more cautious as I was nervous around the water. One of my friends pulled me into the deep end at home when she slipped under the rope. My Dad had to save me that day. Anyway I have the fondest memories of our family vacation. I remember getting up on stage at the hotel restaurant with all of the other children to participate in a hula dance. I remember the teacups at Disney as well as the Country Bears Jamboree and It's a Small World (which is actually a very boring ride but a necessary trip down memory lane). We had such a great time as a family or so we thought. Somehow as children we missed the fact that this was a make it or break it trip for my parents. Shortly after we came home their marriage was over and another chapter was about to begin.
My parents lived in Leaside (an area of Toronto) when I was born. I came into the world folded like a taco and bum first weighing 6lbs 10oz. I can't imagine what that experience must have been like for my poor mother! In today's world I would never have been delivered naturally. I'm not sure if it is possible to have any memories of your first year. I know I don't.
When I was 15 months old my 7lb sister was born. I couldn't say her name so I called her Sassy (to this day she is known to everyone as Sas). She was my first best friend (over the years we would take a few breaks from this friendship). The day my Mom came home from the hospital was the day we moved to our new house in Agincourt. Being so young I can't say I remember much but from what I've heard the house was disgusting and bordering on condemnation. It was a fixer upper and needed alot of attention but it belonged to us. My parents worked very hard to make it our home. A huge hedge surrounding the front yard was cut down and the lawn resodded. Every room of the house needed scrubbing and repainting and carpets replacing. I only have memories of how it looked after. It was a nice little three bedroom bungalow near Kennedy and Sheppard. Actually when I drive past it now it seems so much smaller than I remember. Unfortunately it has also once again fallen into disrepair. The current owners should be embarassed by it's appearance.
In 1970 my brother was born. When we saw him for the first time we asked why our Mom didn't get one of the tiny new babies (he weighed almost 10lbs!). I think it was around that time that my parents put the pool in our backyard. That was big excitement in the neighbourhood as I'm pretty sure we were the first to have an inground pool. It's amazing how many people thought it was a community pool and would send their kids in the morning in a bathing suit with a towel assuming that my Mom was the lifeguard. I don't know what goes through peoples minds!
I have many great memories growing up in that house. We would walk to Agincourt mall to get flip chips at Woolco (not sure what they tasted like but I can remember smelling them as you walked in the doors). I also vividly remember the day in 1971 that the Tam O Shanter Golf Clubhouse burned to the ground. We went to watch the firefighters put out the huge blaze. I remember standing near the mall and being able to feel the heat from the flames.
Our neighbourhood was teaming with kids. One family was wonderful enough to adopt six over the years. They were so excited as they brought each child home. Two were my age. A boy and a girl. I guess I would consider the boy to have been my first boyfriend. I had a crush on him for many years (even as a teenager). My fondest memories with them usually took place in their backyard treehouse which they called the green onion. On one side we had a nice dutch family who raised rabbits in their yard. We were mortified to find out that after playing with one of them that they ate it for dinner the next night! They had the most beautiful tulip garden each year, just a wave of colour. I have vivid memories of their two year old taking the brake off in the car and rolling it down the sloped driveway and onto the road. For a while this was a daily occurance. Our neighbours to the other side had two girls the same ages as my sister and I which worked out perfectly, although sometimes we got into trouble together. Sometimes we got blamed for their trouble like the time they picked all of the tulip heads off of the dutch lady's garden and left them scattered on our lawn. Luckily they owned up to it before the neighbour said something to my Mom that she would have regretted. She was livid!! I've heard stories about me disappearing for hours and nobody being able to find me (I think I was 5). My little friend from next door finally admitted that she and I had snuck into a neighbours backyard (the second home to install a pool) and that she had left me there in the pool. The family was away for a few months and actually had the pool drained. We had climbed down the ladder and were running around the empty pool until my friend decided to go home for lunch and pulled the ladder out leaving me stuck. Another time my sister helped a neighbour child by giving her a haircut. This did not go over well with her Mother especially because she was to be a flower girl in a wedding that weekend! Technically it was probably her Mother's fault as she had scissors hanging in her garage where they could be reached. It was such a different time back then. Children could roam the neighbourhood safely. Nobody needed to worry unless we didn't show up for a meal.
When my brother was two we went to Daytona beach and Disney on a family vacation. When we arrived at the hotel he fell in the wading pool and sank to the bottom. My Dad had to jump in fully clothed and pull him out. Silly brother, I guess he preferred to drown in Florida rather than in our own backyard pool. Maybe he was looking for an insurance payout. My sister also had an incident on the beach when she was almost hit by a car after running frantically from a wave that touched her feet. Funny thing was that the first day at the pool she went flying up the big slide and flew down it into the deep end of the pool. I was much more cautious as I was nervous around the water. One of my friends pulled me into the deep end at home when she slipped under the rope. My Dad had to save me that day. Anyway I have the fondest memories of our family vacation. I remember getting up on stage at the hotel restaurant with all of the other children to participate in a hula dance. I remember the teacups at Disney as well as the Country Bears Jamboree and It's a Small World (which is actually a very boring ride but a necessary trip down memory lane). We had such a great time as a family or so we thought. Somehow as children we missed the fact that this was a make it or break it trip for my parents. Shortly after we came home their marriage was over and another chapter was about to begin.
Stay at Home Mom
Remember toward the end of high school how everyone asked each other where they were going to attend college or university and what they planned to do as adults? My answer was that I was going to be a Mom and I didn't need to go to school to learn how. Friends laughed at my answer but I was very serious. My goal in life was to marry and have a family and to be a stay at home Mom. After some ups and downs I married my high school sweetheart. We've been together for twenty eight years and married for almost twenty three.
I always thought as a stay at home Mom I was doing right by my kids in raising them myself. I used to look at working Moms and think that if their kids didn't turn out right it was their own fault because they gave the job to someone else. My kids were going to be great because I was there. I saw them sit up for the first time, take their first steps, cut their first teeth, heard their first words, and got them to the bus for school each day. They always knew I would be there for them when they needed me.
Little did I know that things are never perfect in the real world. I had every intention of being the perfect Mom. Everything was going to be done right. My children were to be breastfed which we know is the best but I also wanted that bond between Mother and Child that comes along with it. With me staying home formula was a luxury anyway. I had a notion (possibly aided by my old school Mom) that cloth diapers were also a must. Paper diapers were not something I would want to wear myself so why would I put my babies in them?
So along comes baby number one. He was not planned as we had moved in with my in-laws to save to buy a house. We had a room in the basement with very little privacy. Our first weekend away and a private moment in the boathouse shower (yes the boathouse shower which has become family legend) and we were pregnant. Surprise! After being given gel to soften my cervix, having my water broken, taking pitocin tablets for 12 hours (which made me throw up) and then being put on an IV drip to induce labor, my son finally came into the world at 7am weighing 8lbs 3oz. This was after 24 hours of trying everything but dynamite and then needing use of forceps to pull him out! At one point I was told I might need a c-section which did not fit into my perfect picture of childbirth. Thinking back to the 28 or so stitches that were needed, a c-section might have been the right choice. Breastfeeding lasted approximately six weeks before my son turned on me. It seemed as though my breasts were monsters coming at him. This was not the bonding experience I had hoped for! Cloth diapers also did not last long as we shared a washroom and laundry room making paper much more convenient. It was okay, I would try again with the next one.
Baby number two came three and a half years later. She was planned as we had our home purchased and knew it was time to add to our family. Almost from day one I had a feeling she would be a girl which was how I wanted the order of my family to go. She was also induced but this time it went much differently. It was only six hours from the time they started to induce (with tablets in my cervix) to the time the doctor came in to break my water so she wasn't born in the amniotic sac. We actually had to wait because the doctor left thinking I would not be ready until the next morning. I think it was faster due to the lack of drugs as I had a small amount of gas and a couple of shots of nubane. She arrived at 1:40am weighing 8lbs. She was destined to be the middle child from birth. She actually breastfed for three months before turning on me. Feeding her was interesting. It was not the bond I was looking for as I was not allowed to look at her or talk while feeding her. She was very cranky and didn't seem to like to be cuddled. There were days when I put her in her crib for her nap and sat on the front porch crying. My son once asked his Nana what would happen if his Mom threw his sister out the window. Cloth diapers were out pretty soon with this one too. Anyone who breastfeeds knows how messy bowel movements are. It was okay, things would get better. As we planned to have four, I figured I still would have a chance to do things 'right'.
Funny thing, we didn't have our third baby for five years after number two. We had just purchased our second home when we found out we were pregnant again. This would not have been when we would have planned to have another. We were moving into our new house in the middle of March and due around Mother's Day. Moving is not a fun thing when you are pregnant. We actually were between houses for six weeks due to construction delays and had to move to my parents house which meant moving twice! So the day after Mother's Day I woke up with a feeling I had never experienced. A little bit crampy and thought I had peed my pants. I had a doctors appointment that afternoon which I went to before being admitted to the hospital. Shortly after having some bloodwork done my water broke. Things moved quickly from there. I think this was also due to no drip or IV drugs. I opted for a little gas which I gave up as I felt as though I was not going to be with it when baby arrived. It was actually quite an amazing feeling as her body moved down through the birth canal. It was very painful but I'm glad I had the experience. So at 7:11pm baby number three made her appearance weighing 8lbs 14oz. She had big shoulders and I needed a small incision as they got stuck. Luckily we had a wonderful nurse who allowed big brother and sister to come up for a quick visit even though visiting hours were over. She even put off her dinner break to stay for the birth instead of letting someone else come in. Leaving the hospital with my parents my son turned to my Mom and said "Nana I think I must have bad luck because I really wanted a brother the first time and I got a sister and I really wanted a brother this time and I got another sister." My Mom replied "At least your new sister is healthy what if she had been born with just one arm or leg?" She laughed at his reply which was "It would have been okay if it was a brother!" Children say the funniest things. So baby number three only lasted eight weeks breastfeeding before freaking out like the other two and she wore disposable diapers from day one. We never tried for baby number four.
So what did I learn from these experiences? Well for one I apparently don't have a long shelf life on my breastmilk. Either that or my breasts morph into monsters around six weeks or so after giving birth (although my husband never mentioned it). Secondly, life is not perfect and things don't always go as planned and that's okay. Would I do anything different? Absolutely not. Sometimes I think that I am to blame for things which did not turn out the way that I expected them to. This is kind of the opposite of the working Mom who can blame someone else (my new way of viewing the situation). In the end I would not trade my choices or the experiences that came from them for anything in the world. Stay tuned as life continues.
I always thought as a stay at home Mom I was doing right by my kids in raising them myself. I used to look at working Moms and think that if their kids didn't turn out right it was their own fault because they gave the job to someone else. My kids were going to be great because I was there. I saw them sit up for the first time, take their first steps, cut their first teeth, heard their first words, and got them to the bus for school each day. They always knew I would be there for them when they needed me.
Little did I know that things are never perfect in the real world. I had every intention of being the perfect Mom. Everything was going to be done right. My children were to be breastfed which we know is the best but I also wanted that bond between Mother and Child that comes along with it. With me staying home formula was a luxury anyway. I had a notion (possibly aided by my old school Mom) that cloth diapers were also a must. Paper diapers were not something I would want to wear myself so why would I put my babies in them?
So along comes baby number one. He was not planned as we had moved in with my in-laws to save to buy a house. We had a room in the basement with very little privacy. Our first weekend away and a private moment in the boathouse shower (yes the boathouse shower which has become family legend) and we were pregnant. Surprise! After being given gel to soften my cervix, having my water broken, taking pitocin tablets for 12 hours (which made me throw up) and then being put on an IV drip to induce labor, my son finally came into the world at 7am weighing 8lbs 3oz. This was after 24 hours of trying everything but dynamite and then needing use of forceps to pull him out! At one point I was told I might need a c-section which did not fit into my perfect picture of childbirth. Thinking back to the 28 or so stitches that were needed, a c-section might have been the right choice. Breastfeeding lasted approximately six weeks before my son turned on me. It seemed as though my breasts were monsters coming at him. This was not the bonding experience I had hoped for! Cloth diapers also did not last long as we shared a washroom and laundry room making paper much more convenient. It was okay, I would try again with the next one.
Baby number two came three and a half years later. She was planned as we had our home purchased and knew it was time to add to our family. Almost from day one I had a feeling she would be a girl which was how I wanted the order of my family to go. She was also induced but this time it went much differently. It was only six hours from the time they started to induce (with tablets in my cervix) to the time the doctor came in to break my water so she wasn't born in the amniotic sac. We actually had to wait because the doctor left thinking I would not be ready until the next morning. I think it was faster due to the lack of drugs as I had a small amount of gas and a couple of shots of nubane. She arrived at 1:40am weighing 8lbs. She was destined to be the middle child from birth. She actually breastfed for three months before turning on me. Feeding her was interesting. It was not the bond I was looking for as I was not allowed to look at her or talk while feeding her. She was very cranky and didn't seem to like to be cuddled. There were days when I put her in her crib for her nap and sat on the front porch crying. My son once asked his Nana what would happen if his Mom threw his sister out the window. Cloth diapers were out pretty soon with this one too. Anyone who breastfeeds knows how messy bowel movements are. It was okay, things would get better. As we planned to have four, I figured I still would have a chance to do things 'right'.
Funny thing, we didn't have our third baby for five years after number two. We had just purchased our second home when we found out we were pregnant again. This would not have been when we would have planned to have another. We were moving into our new house in the middle of March and due around Mother's Day. Moving is not a fun thing when you are pregnant. We actually were between houses for six weeks due to construction delays and had to move to my parents house which meant moving twice! So the day after Mother's Day I woke up with a feeling I had never experienced. A little bit crampy and thought I had peed my pants. I had a doctors appointment that afternoon which I went to before being admitted to the hospital. Shortly after having some bloodwork done my water broke. Things moved quickly from there. I think this was also due to no drip or IV drugs. I opted for a little gas which I gave up as I felt as though I was not going to be with it when baby arrived. It was actually quite an amazing feeling as her body moved down through the birth canal. It was very painful but I'm glad I had the experience. So at 7:11pm baby number three made her appearance weighing 8lbs 14oz. She had big shoulders and I needed a small incision as they got stuck. Luckily we had a wonderful nurse who allowed big brother and sister to come up for a quick visit even though visiting hours were over. She even put off her dinner break to stay for the birth instead of letting someone else come in. Leaving the hospital with my parents my son turned to my Mom and said "Nana I think I must have bad luck because I really wanted a brother the first time and I got a sister and I really wanted a brother this time and I got another sister." My Mom replied "At least your new sister is healthy what if she had been born with just one arm or leg?" She laughed at his reply which was "It would have been okay if it was a brother!" Children say the funniest things. So baby number three only lasted eight weeks breastfeeding before freaking out like the other two and she wore disposable diapers from day one. We never tried for baby number four.
So what did I learn from these experiences? Well for one I apparently don't have a long shelf life on my breastmilk. Either that or my breasts morph into monsters around six weeks or so after giving birth (although my husband never mentioned it). Secondly, life is not perfect and things don't always go as planned and that's okay. Would I do anything different? Absolutely not. Sometimes I think that I am to blame for things which did not turn out the way that I expected them to. This is kind of the opposite of the working Mom who can blame someone else (my new way of viewing the situation). In the end I would not trade my choices or the experiences that came from them for anything in the world. Stay tuned as life continues.
Friday, February 24, 2012
My First Blog
So this is my first ever blog. Just to introduce myself, I am an independant Scentsy consultant living in Port Perry Ontario Canada. I know "take off eh?". Actually Port Perry is a quaint friendly town northeast of Toronto. If you've ever seen Welcome to Mooseport with Ray Romano and Gene Hackman you have seen Port Perry. I am a mother of three. My oldest is almost 21 (I don't know where the time has gone), my middle child is 17 (she was destined from birth to be the middle child), and my youngest is 12 (going on 20). I used to be a stay at home Mom but went back to work when my youngest started school full time. I now work part time in a call centre (don't get me started on that) and run my Scentsy business from home. I'm not sure yet what my blogs will be about but I know they will include funnies from our lives as well as updates and research from my business. Stay tuned.
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